i'm in jenna's room

[bellapalmera]

hey everyone well apparently in order to use the crescent place computer lab you have to BRING YOUR OWN COMPUTER??? yeah that's mental, so about me not being a whiny loser who makes excuses to get stuff i don't deserve, well maybe i don't on statistics tests but i do in real life. that's all i've been doing the last few days and it's how i got into this self inflicted predicament that doesn't even truely exist. it's why i'm not talking to anyone back home, because talking is what got me where i am. it's shutting up i need to focus on. with the justin situation, and he may or may not be reading this, yeah stuff that i told him is true but the real reason i can't stop being a jerk is cause i'm just like afraid i'm going to lose his friendship or that i'm doing things to make him love me less, that's not a good feeling to have but i'm just taking it out on him and that's bad. "so i'll hit the pavement it's gotta be better than waiting and pushing you far away cause i'm scared" (oh the irony) well i am just admitting things that i've done wrong, isn't that the first step to recovery? i'm over it, i'm just saying that i know i screwed up.