i could do this piece by piece

but i'm doing it all at once.

4:57 pm...
why do i set myself up for failure?

9:05 pm...
i'm living proof
that you can feel
happy
and
the greatest pain you've ever known
at the _{exact same time.}

11:58 pm...
tyler says i'm uptight. if only he knew that i am just that way around him. BUT I CAN'T EXACTLY TELL HIM THAT NOW CAN I!!!!!!!

~~~returning to the present~~~

there are so many things i am afraid to tell him. i just want to tell him how wonderful he is and how he's my best friend and he's helped me tremendously. but i guess i never will.

i had an epiphany

okay, well i've been complaining about how it's been harder for me to talk to tyler about stuff. among that "stuff" is my depression. it's coming back, and instead of talking to him about it, i'm taking it out on him. i can't let it out and it's coming out the wrong way. i NEED to talk to him. so you all need to pray for me that i will stop being such a freaking wuss and just do it.