the obligatory "first day of classes" entry - spring '04

ok SOOOOO... yesterday was my first day of classes. duh. let's look at the shedjool, shall we?

Psychological Assessment
this class seems like it's going to be every bit as boring as i anticipated. the teacher is a very soft spoken man with either a british, southern, or combination of both, accent. and it's at 10:30 in the morning. but the good thing is that he does power point instead of writing notes, and he gives you the copies of the power point slides so you can just take any additional notes on there. yay!

Witchcraft & Magic
well this should be... interesting... much of the focus is on new england which DEFINITELY means salem witch trials... yay for stuff i've already learned a little bit about! it probably won't help, but maybe a little. hehe. there are some interesting people in that class, let me just tell you... hehe.

New Testament (haha leah)
i like the teacher. it's rather ambiguous as to what she truely believes in, but what can ya do. pros: james and leah are in my class! cons: james wants to drop the class. ok some background on me: when i first became interested in placing my faith in Jesus, the first major thing that happened (there were 3) was that i was at my cousin's wedding and they were reading Bible verses and i started crying cause i felt so bad that i was missing out on knowing all this stuff. in the last 3 1/2 years, i really haven't made much of an effort to get to know it. so that is why i'm taking the class, cause i really don't know anything and i want to know. now the reason i don't want james to drop the class is because he's one of those people who's so gosh darn smart about this whole Bible thing, and it's kinda comforting having him there cause i'm really kinda scared about taking the class. it's like if my friend tom were taking the class with me (he's probably one of the wisest people i know) and then he dropped it... that would make me really sad! (a lot more sad than if james dropped it, but i think you get the point lol) but the last thing i want to do is like... make james not drop the class. either way, it should be highly beneficial to me. and i still have leah... she's got some smarts about this stuff, and if i ever have any questions it's not like she lives far away from me! lol. i definitely could NOT take this class by myself.

Developmental Psychology
i haven't had this class yet (it's today at 4) but i know the teacher! she's a freakin bundle of energy and a really nice lady. and my friend kate is in that class too so yay i know someone!! it should be interesting, i think that it is like a more biological perspective on child psych, and i liked child psych. i'm sure there's a big section on puberty lol. so yeah i'm looking forward to this one except for the writing, but what can ya do.

ok so that's my class line-up. i hope you all enjoyed your first days back, those of us who've already returned that is... SOME PEOPLE ::cough:: tara ::cough:: do not go back until next week lol. i'd go nuts if i wasn't back yet, honestly. oh well, so i have to go to the bathroom now and i don't think i have anything else to say so peace yo.

and now for a real entry

so let's see... when i wasn't in class, i went and bought my books and got a new laundry card and filled out paperwork. woohoo! and i went to the cafe for the first time since i've been back! now i am trying to avoid pasta this semester so if you see me in the cafeteria and i have pasta, QUESTION ME!!!! every once in a while will be ok but definitely not every day, that is how i gained like 10 pounds last semester!! but what i ate yesterday was this rice with some yummy sauce and lots of seafood... SOOO GOOD!!! (haha i sound like teen girl squad) and it was only 238 calories!!! ROCK ON.

ok so about my books... sorry for those of you who are members of utampa and have to read this again... but where else can you find a student buying a Bible for one class and a book about satan for another? lol. go me! total damage: $384.56... which is less for 8 books (i think) than jenna spent for 12 books! GO JENNA!!! =D

so after we got back from NT class, we had a mini-party to watch american idol. normally i'm not into the show ever until the end, but our friend ana is gonna be on there! (we hope... we know she made it to hollywood) she has a GREAT voice so i think she will get far in the competition! anyway some of the auditions are really funny cause they suck... lol. i'm such a bad heckler. so yeah it was all of us 314 residents, james, and then caryn's friend sean came but i don't remember if he came while the show was still on. james made yummy brownies. and jason was supposed to come but he never showed up! what the heck, yo. oh and there was a VERY HOT GUY from niceville, fl... hahaha. caryn is like in love with him now. (her and about 21490217421 other girls in this country, i bet) so that was fun.

OH, i have to tell the funny story. leah, you can skip this paragraph. so yesterday i decided i would be a nice roommate and tune leah's guitar since it was out of tune and she does not know how to tune it yet. so i tried to tune the first string and IT BROKE!!! AHHH bad traci! so yeah don't let me tune your guitar ever, kids... lol.

so remember how at the end of the last entry i had to go to the bathroom, well i haven't done that yet so i think i will now. bye!

computers are pieces of shit

"computers are rubbish, buy guitars" yeah tara you like that!!!

ok so im having a really bad day... the usual over reacting to stupid things that are not as big of a deal as i make out of them, ya know.

i can't do anything right.

and i'm really thinking about quitting crusade leadership because i'm sick of answering to people who i do not have to answer to (my fault for once) and i am sick of being a fucking gopher. and recently God has shown me that it's just not meant for me to be a "leader" so why do i still bother trying to be one when it's not what i'm supposed to do.

and another thing is why do people bother pretending to care what you have to say when they are just going to end up proving that they don't really give a shit anyway. i am so sick of having this done to me.

i definitely made a sign for my computer that says: "THIS COMPUTER IS THE SPAWN OF SATAN." don't expect me to be online much. i'll try to update this sucker. if you really feel like talking to me, i have a phone, you have a phone, coincidence, i think not.

yeah this is what i do when i don't feel like doing my new testament homework. i'll probably do it tomorrow between classes, i've got time. i just have to read some crap and do some questions.

ya know, when i was in ft. lauderdale, i had people who would love me no matter how much i fucked things up. who i didn't feel bad about going to when i had problems. and i really didn't fuck things up as much there as i do here. why can't things be that way in tampa?

i think that i am starting to build up walls. i was complaining tonight about how i felt alone in my room despite having 3 roommates, but for the most part that's probably my fault. i don't exactly make the effort 100% of the time, so what am i complaining about? that's not the only wall. there's the wall that just when i'm about to let it down i get afraid to and put it back up again. the wall of past mistakes that i'm so damn scared of making all over again. it fucking kills me to think that i could put people through this shit when i already hate myself so much for it.

this is going to be a really long semester.